What is Staying with Self? This is the practice of walking with yourself every day in every
moment. As you go through your daily routine pay attention to where you feel like you are.
When you are talking with some one do you feel you are talking from within or do you feel like
you are almost a spectator. When you are preforming a task you routinely do what dos it feel
like. Dos your mind wonder than all of a sudden like a light switch your back in your body
preforming the task not sure how you where doing it. Now imagine you are having a
stimulating positive conversation over dinner where do you feel like your at now. Are you
spectating or are you interacting from with in your self.
This is a nuance of being we will explore a bit of in this article.
We need to learn how to accomplish this in moments to learn to walk with ourselves.
Simplicity is the key! After you have tried the above experiment with yourself. You will be able
to distinguish the difference in feeling between being an observer of your life or being an active
participant. Once you know the difference in the feel of it. You will begin to notice when you
are not fully present. At this time simply ask yourself to come back inside. When there is any
conflict in our lives this is when we tend to become an observer again. Through practice you
will be able to bring yourself back inside. This actually decreases the stress you will
experience and enhances your ability to respond in a constructive manner. I know it seems
counter intuitive. But truly leaving dos not work it never has.
Why is this staying with self so important? Well we can talk about neurotransmitters and
hormones and the physical damage prolonged doses of the chemicals our brain makes during
fight or flight situations. But instead lets investigate how to control our reactions during these
times so we do not experience these damaging effects. This is important for positive
interactions with strangers, family, friends, pets and yes yourself.
How can you do this under extreme circumstances? Practicing this on a daily basis prepares us
for more taxing situations. Which we will all encounter on one level or another. How we get
through these circumstances intact and whole depends on our ability to stay with self. We can
also integrate this into our lives after traumas. Daily practice is the key to health. Even
extended terms of stress, trauma can be alleviated by learning how to stay with self.
The nuance of learning this technique is a slight change of mind & feel. Remembering to do it
from moment to moment softly slides into an easy habit. Out with the old habit in with the new
easier healthier habit. Learning how to do this is called as many different things as we are
unique beings. Again remember at first to do this moment to moment than it slides into a habit.
This truly is not something done once a day or three times a week. It must become a way of life
for it to have it’s full beneficial effect.
Walking with yourself may at first seem the hardest thing to do. So what are the steps to this
practice of staying? Learning to forgive yourself is one of the hardest things to do. But one of the
most beneficial. If you are to stay with yourself you need to learn to like yourself. This comes
from excepting your mistakes no matter how grave. Deciding to not do them again and making
steps so you do not do them again. This is called a change of heart.
Forgiveness of others, this is a strange one. Well you do not need to forgive others to walk with
yourself. But you do need to let go of blame, blame of others and blame of yourself of things
done or not done. The only thing you can control in this life and this is important to put into
practice, is you. The actions you take and the way you feel about what is happening around
you... Dos this mean you agree with what is happening around you? Maybe you do maybe you
don’t but remember you only control you. Most of us live in a place in our minds where we
control what others do. This seems to make sense because we are less likely to get hurt right?
In most cases this is wrong we end up hurting ourselves along with the others we are trying to
control. Do not miss interpret control of others with control of yourself. You have boundaries
you have your morality. Stick to it take control of your life. This will allow you to come back to
your core self of good. The place you want to be. The place we keep running away from because
we don’t know where it is. This is the place of balance. This is the place to heal. When we find
this place this is where doors open to new energies available at all times. The place of resource
and connection. This place this core of goodness is not hard to find. It simply takes a nuance of
thought and a moment to moment practice until it becomes your new habit.
E.H.P. Amber Kurt
Staying with Self